Our Fantastic Customers

We’re not racist, sexist, disablist or any other “ist”. As long as you have a set of wheels and an in-depth knowledge of classic car racing between 1908 and yesterday, you’ll do fine in our bar. We regret to say that, despite our relatively illustrious equine history, we can no longer welcome horses and riders. (At a push, riders might be acceptable, provided they’ve tied their horse up somewhere else and can affect a convincing interest in machines that consume petrol rather than hay.) The incident involving the big chestnut mare, startled by the landlord’s Porsche 911 backfiring, was immensely disruptive to the motorway network within a fifty mile radius. Mind you, with plenty of ketchup, the horse steaks weren’t too bad on the barbecue.

Dogs are welcome, as long as they keep their paws off the upholstery and aren’t allowed anywhere near the garages. Whilst we do subscribe to the “dogs die in hot cars” campaign, we would caution against tying up your four-legged friend anywhere near our car park. Some of our patrons are somewhat frustrated by the absence of a dirt track anywhere near here and are apt to get a little over-excited at times. Please note that any damage done to your vehicle, person or pet during one of these episodes is entirely your responsibility. Our insurance premiums for our own vehicles are already eye-watering enough without adding unnecessarily to them. Notices to this effect are displayed in prominent positions around the car park.

The Crown and Sceptre is not one of those public houses to have succumbed to the school of thought that children should fit into their parents’ lives. Never mind the platitude that children should be seen and not heard, we subscribe to the belief that they should be neither seen nor heard. To that effect, we would prefer it if you left them at home, with your horse, before visiting us. We do not have a children’s playground, a children’s menu or any teeny-tiny chairs. If you insist on having them accompany you, please see our "History" page for further details of the kids' facilities that we do offer.

Copyright thecrownandsceptre.co.uk 2017

The Crown and Sceptre mentioned on this website is merely a figment of my over-heated imagination. Any resemblance to any other pub, whether living or dead, is completely coincidental.